Today’s American dream looks a lot different than the one I grew up with.

Back in my day, the 1990s, it seemed that the American dream stood for hard work and personal freedom. Fast forward to 2023, and the American dream seems to endorse minimal work and purpose freedom.

Let me explain “minimal work” and “purpose freedom”. This is not your typical “pick on millennials for being lazy” post. I wrote this post to pick on my own generation, those born in the 1980s and before. I always write to pick on my former self and tell about what I’ve learned.

Nowadays, there appears to be a glamorizing of early retirements and 4-hour workweeks. The rise of tech and social media has made plenty of young millionaires and homemade influencers have only fueled this. You don’t have to look very hard for stories about kids ready to retire in their teens or twenties after starting successful brands and businesses.

These kids deserve all the accolades for what they accomplish, 100%, but they also deserve to know how much more life has in store for them. I believe God has put a purpose on everyone’s life and your purpose doesn’t end when your bank account hits a certain decimal place.

The story that’s currently being sold is this: if you’re looking for “heaven on Earth”, look no further than a lounger on a beach or a rocking chair in the mountains. You’ve reached the pinnacle of life when you can call on others to do work for you, and just sit back and relax.

To be fair, I’ve done both of these leisure activities in the past year and they are both pretty awesome, but they are still far from the pinnacle of life. They are also very far from the purpose of life.

I believe we were all created by God to be on this Earth for a purpose, and there are forces in this world trying to distract us from that purpose. There are many lies being sold that we can be free of our purpose, and trade it for material goods and comfortable time on our couch.

When you combine these lies with the loving intentions of our parents who just want to give us the best life possible, you have a recipe for resistance to hard work. Parents who had kids in the 90s to now, are so focused on giving their kids a privileged life, they are forgetting to give them a purposeful life.

I know a lot of my writing sounds preachy, but most of my writing is to myself. It’s what I want to write to teach the younger me. I’m a parent of a 9-year-old boy and 7-year-old girl, and I constantly catch myself spoiling my kids and not teaching them necessary life skills.

Over the years of co-owning a business and co-owning a family, stuff gets stressful. While I’ve never contemplated walking away from my family, I have given serious thought to stepping away from my gym. That gets me emotional to think about leaving my gym family, but owning a business has been hard. Service industry small-business owners know that the details are not needed. “How nice would it be to have all that responsibility off of me?” I would wonder.

Whenever I have life questions, I pray and ask God for answers. When it came to this burden of owning a business, I got very clear answers from God. This is what I heard,

“I’ve blessed you with your busyness. I’ve blessed you with your business. I’ve given you this purpose.”

Hearing that message and repeating it to myself gives me the feeling of being blessed when my schedule says I should be feeling stressed. I’ve repeated the words “blessed to be busy” to myself more times than I could ever count. It has become somewhat of a self-slogan.

As most families do, we have a lot going on right now. My wife homeschools both of our kids and makes sure they are in activities too. My son takes drum lessons and is playing another season of baseball. My daughter does dance class and is trying out her first season of soccer. Dad is coaching both while also coaching their FitKids classes. It’s a lot, but it’s a blessing to have the health that we do to be able to do all this.

My parents were active participants in my brother and I’s lives growing up and they truly set the example of what it means to be blessed with busyness. This March 15th was my dad’s 75th birthday. People who see him in the gym can’t believe he’s 75 years old.

Just a few weeks ago, we were at a food distribution we have at our church. We hand out thousands of pounds of food to the community to whoever needs it. You’ll typically see anywhere from 2-8 Frezzas at any given food distribution. Even my kids go and do their best to help out.

My 75-year-old dad is there tearing up boxes with a boxcutter and his bare hands for hours straight. He brings a hand truck from home that he whips out of his Buick Enclave like he’s been doing this for years.

He has been doing this for years. The man never stops working. His Enclave looks similar to a contractor’s work truck with tools pouring out each time he opens his trunk. He can probably afford any car he wants, but his car reflects the man he is; A hard-ass-worker who is not ready to stop moving anytime soon.

My mom is there too, working for hours. I’m always amazed at the energy she has to entertain 4 grandkids ages 3-9 all at once, all day long. I feel very blessed to have these examples of parents who never stop moving. They’ve instilled in me a tireless pursuit of purpose in this life.

In my book that will be coming out this year, “Spectrum Mindset: How to Leave Behind a Black-and-White World For a Life of Endless Possibility,” I talk about the 10 Elements of a Spectrum Mindset. One of those elements is PERSISTENCE. I write about how you can maintain control over your life by staying focused on purpose and allowing choices to align and flow with that purpose. You never have to feel stuck, or feel the burden of burnout, if you’re always doing things for a reason. You do have to be mindful you’re not just busy for the sake of filing your schedule.

Being busy is relative, and a lot of it is perception. If you aren’t too busy and have two minutes to have a good laugh about being busy, check out this video from comedian Pat McGann. You may get some new perspective on what it means to be busy. https://www.facebook.com/patmcganncomedy/videos/everyones-busy-pat-mcgann/574818483760403/

It’s really our perception of our purpose, or lack thereof, that decides how much burden we feel from busy. We can change the story of busyness by changing our perception of it.

My “why” is my kids, and my purpose is to be as impactful as possible to them and others in this life in the most positive way possible. When busyness starts to feel like a burden, I will always remember what a blessing it is. It’s such a blessing to be able to impact my family and community.

German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” When I look at my schedule packed with work and family activities, I no longer feel stressed but instead smile. I smile because I’m so lucky to have all these things going on in my life.

I believe we were meant to work, fall down, make mistakes, get dirty, love hard and lose harder.

We were not meant to do nothing, no matter how good nothing feels. We have to stop listening to the lies that comfort is the pinnacle of life.

Purpose is the pinnacle of life and we all have a purpose to fulfill.

God Bless.

-Coach Tony

P.S. Two more Blessed to Be Busy Encouragements

I recently finished a book by NFL Hall of Fame Quarterback Kurt Warner and his wife Brenda called, “First Things First: The Rules of Being a Warner.” I thought this paragraph was too perfect to not include here. Kurt writes, “Although I am glad to be able to provide for my kids, I also want them to know we are not called to just stand back and be served – letting someone else take care of everything for us. One of our rules is that we’re called to serve others.”

23 Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. 24 Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ. – Colossians 3:23-24 NLT